Posts

-- CARPENTER PARKING FACILITY 4, PLANET 2, SOLAR SYSTEM 73,873,819, GALAXY 4,829, LOCAL CLUSTER 72, SUPER CLUSTER 16, UNIVERSE 2.3

Excuse me. Excuse me?! HEY! Hi, I got your attention now, I see, but this is probably annoying.

*ahem* yeah could you help me with something? Do you have a few moments?

Oh awesome thank you thank you! OK ok so.. Well.. I'll try not to take up too much of your time.. or will I?

You see.. I'm an artist. I wa- What's that? What kind of artist, you ask? Crap, I didn't practice an answer for that..

I'm a digital abstract artist. I was hoping you might help me out.

I need to know something: do you like my Night series (LINK TO NIGHT SERIES)?

Don't be scared, go ahead and take a look. Take your time, I've got some things to do while you browse the Night series.

You're done already? You're awesome! Hang on, let me wrap up a few things. I'll be back in a few moments.

OK, I'm back. Wait, hold up, let me grab my notebook.

OK, I'm ba- wait, hang on, let me find a pen. I'll be right back.

OK, I'm back. Hey, so did you take a look at the Night series? Did you? Hello?

I was looking to get some feedback on it. It's artwork. I'm an artist. I made those. You were going to help me out, remember?

Oh, now you're just going to ignore me? HELLO?! HELLO!!

Are you there? THERE you are, ha sorry, I got disconnected and didn't even realize it.

Hey so you were able to take a look?

Ahh, yes. Excellent. What'd you think?

You like them?! Really! Ssssssshhhhhhhhit, yess!! What do you like about them?

Where's my pen? Did you take my p- oh it's right here. Can you tell me a few things you like about the Night series?

Awesome, thank you so much for your time. As a bonus for helping me out, I'm going to show you some of my New Night pieces.

Oh, you have to go? That's cool, that's cool, right hey thanks again, have a great day. You're one of the good ones.

Hey, excuse me. HEY! EXCUSE ME! YOU! Hey you dropped your envelope! Hey, come back!!

Aww, damn, did you see that? That kind person who just helped me out with some feedback left their envelope here. Could you chase them down and hand it to them?

Oh. OH! Hey, it's still you! I didn't recognize you, sorry about that. Well hey, here's your envelope. You dropped it in the trash can.

It's trash? Oh, that makes sense, then. Sorry about that. You have to go? Oh right, I forgot, you've got to leave. That's cool, right on, thanks, peace, see ya.

I'll just keep these new ones to myself, I guess.

You're still here? Oh, NOW you want to see them, huh? Well I thought you had to leave. You feel bad? You think I'm going to show them to you because you told me you feel bad? I'm not a charity case, buster! Go on! Get lost! Go pound a short cliff off a long walk on the beach! Hey hey woah WOAH WOOAHH there, calm down! Hey don't TOUCH me!

Hey, stop that, there's no need to get physical, BACK OFF, I've got really sharp fingernails right now. Take it easy, why are you being so aggressive now? I was just playin'.

Fine fine I'll show you a couple of them.

Hey I'm going to leave. Lock the door on your way in, please. Thanks! See you next time. I hope :)

lol ɐɹǝ ʇɥǝsǝ lǝʇʇǝɹs ndsᴉpǝ poʍu¿

I ʍɐs poᴉuƃ soɯǝ ʍoɹʞ ou ʇɥǝ sǝɹʌǝɹ ɐup ǝʌǝɹʎʇɥᴉuƃ sǝǝɯs ʇo ɥɐʌǝ ƃoʇʇǝu ɔoɯdlǝʇǝlʎ ɟnxʇ¡

Oʞ lǝʇ ɯǝ ʇɹʎ ɐ ɔondlǝ ʇɥᴉuƃs˙˙˙ Ouǝ ɯᴉunʇǝ˙˙

p̲ᴉ̲p̲ ʇ̲ɥ̲ᴉ̲s̲ ɥ̲ǝ̲l̲d̲¿̲ H̷O̷˥̷⅄̷ S̷H̷I̷┴̷¡̷

OK did I fix it? I think I fixed it.

O̷K̷ M̷a̷y̷b̷e̷ I̷ s̷h̷o̷u̷l̷d̷ j̷u̷s̷t̷ r̷e̷s̷t̷a̷r̷t̷ e̷v̷e̷r̷y̷t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷.̷ H̷a̷n̷g̷ o̷n̷.̷.̷

.....

.̷.̷.̷.̷.̷

.̡͙̻.̦̦͍.͉̠.͖̺͎.͖͙͇

.̴̺͔̻͋̈́̚.̴̻̞̼́̽̈́.̸͍͕̝̿̚͝.̸͓͖͙͐̓̚.̵̫̻̝̐̾̕

H͚͚̺E̡͉L̡͍͕L͙͙̙O̡̪͙.͖͚͙ I͓̪̦S̠͇͚ T̢̫͚H͔̞I̪̪͕S̼̝͙ T̢̼͓H̺̘̻I̠̦͉N̫̙͜G̡̪͜ O͎̫̝N̠͉̺?̡͙͜

O̷K̷ W̷e̷l̷l̷ t̷h̷i̷s̷ w̷i̷l̷l̷ j̷u̷s̷t̷ h̷a̷v̷e̷ t̷o̷ d̷o̷.̷.̷ H̷i̷!̷ W̷e̷l̷c̷o̷m̷e̷ t̷o̷ t̷h̷i̷s̷ p̷o̷s̷t̷.̷ E̷x̷c̷u̷s̷e̷ t̷h̷e̷ m̷e̷s̷s̷.̷ H̷e̷y̷,̷ t̷a̷k̷e̷ a̷ l̷o̷o̷k̷ a̷t̷ s̷o̷m̷e̷ n̷e̷w̷ t̷h̷i̷n̷g̷s̷, aͣvͮaͣiͥlaͣвⷡleͤ iͥn ᴛⷮhͪeͤ "៉Neͤweͤs͛ᴛⷮ Aͣdͩdͩiͥᴛⷮiͥoͦns͛"៉ s͛eͤcͨᴛⷮiͥoͦn iͥn ᴛⷮhͪeͤ gaͣlleͤrͬy.

[caption id="attachment_2361" align="alignleft" width="700"] T̵͚͖͋͒̕e̵̻̞͔͋̀r̴̢͉̺̒̈́͑r̵̞͎̫̽̀͝a̴̼͕̠͋̾c̴͕̝̼͊̈́͝e̵͓͇͓̓̔̾[/caption]

 

 

[caption id="attachment_2357" align="alignleft" width="700"] S̻͚̞w̡͕̻e̢͔͎e̞͓͙t̟̫̪ S̢͖̫w̪̫̪e̡͇̟e͎̘̘p̺͕͔e͎̟͙r̝͖̝[/caption]

 

 

 

 

[caption id="attachment_2362" align="alignleft" width="700"] S̵͎̼͐͛̾q̸̞͙͐̒͑u̸̢͙̟͊͛i̴̺͓̝̓͘͠m̵̢͖͘̚͝b̵̞̫̝͌̈́̕l̵̻̪̓̾͋e̵̫̪̪͐̽͠T̸̡͕͑͛͝o̴͙̞͍̔͆̕w̵̦̟̫͊̓͋n̸̦͖͎͆̓͝[/caption]

 

Oͦhͪ aͣndͩ ᴛⷮhͪeͤrͬeͤ'́s͛ aͣls͛oͦ aͣ neͤw uͧрⷬdͩaͣᴛⷮeͤdͩ loͦgoͦ,̓ cͨhͪeͤcͨᴋⷦ iͥᴛⷮ oͦuͧᴛⷮ!

[caption id="attachment_2354" align="alignleft" width="700"] N̒̔e̽̽w̐̒͝ L͛̽̕o̾͐͒g̓̕͝ò̈́͝[/caption]

- CARPENTER WORKSHOP 9, QUADRANT 5

Don't mind us, we're just here to clean up a bit. Mostly we're getting the dust off of everything around here. Nobody's been here for almost 3 years, so this place needs a major dusting.

Do you know where the janitor's closet is? Wait, don't worry about it, we'll find it.

Eew, gross! Something leaked over here, it's all sticky.

Wait a minute, who are you and why are you here? This place is abandoned. Can I see some ID, please?

I guess you're right... custodians have no authority here. Now if you'll excuse us, we have to find the bleach.

Oh look what was left over here! A line of squares. Huh. Weird:

[caption id="attachment_1427" align="aligncenter" width="666"] A line of squares[/caption]

I wonder what anybody would ever need something like that for.. Aww whatever, let's just keep cleaning up.

Wow the floors in here are pretty bad. Is this JELLY? JELLY on the floor? Damn, what the heck's been going on in here?

OK we're going to have to mop in here, let's get all this stuff off the floor.

Huh. Another string of squares, check it out:

[caption id="attachment_1428" align="aligncenter" width="800"] Squarecurl[/caption]

Hmm, how did they even do that?! That's pretty cool right there! OK keep cleaning, move all that stuff, we've gotta mop. Hmm I wonder what else those squares turned into.. Oh here's a couple more!

[caption id="attachment_1430" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Whirler[/caption]

Woah that one's a bit out of control. How the hell is that done, though? Oh here's the other one:

[caption id="attachment_1431" align="aligncenter" width="800"] Squareline Spin[/caption]

Wow, a line of red squares can turn into THAT?! I wonder why this place is abandoned, there are some pretty neat things here. This is kind of sad.

EEK! OMG that scared the shit out of me, it's not real though. It's just art. I thought there was a real DuckSnake in here, but it's just an art. lol PHEW, check it out:

[caption id="attachment_1429" align="aligncenter" width="400"] DuckSnake[/caption]

It's a DuckSnake. Super realistic, isn't it? I thought that was real for a second.

Man I can't get over that, it's like a freakin photograph, wow!

Flombee, have you finished Mopping? Krombuh, you done dusting? Quamblo, everything's back where it was, right?

Put these back where they were, Quamblo:

[caption id="attachment_1432" align="aligncenter" width="455"] Slarto[/caption] [caption id="attachment_1433" align="aligncenter" width="800"] Floater[/caption]

Ooo I bet that one started with a line of triangles!

OK folks, we're wrapping it up, right? Grab those trash bags and let's get on outta here.

And you. I'm still not sure what you're doing here, but you've taken terrible care of this place, it was a total mess. If you're going to be here, please clean up a bit, eh?

JELLY on the floor? Come on, get it together!

OK Crew we're outta here, I'll go start the train.

-- CARPENTER ART DEVELOPMENT FACILITY 792D, FLOOR -61, QUADRANT 5, STUDIO 64, DESK 3 Below is a link to the "Newest Additions" in the mattcarpenterart.com gallery. Thank you for your attention and have a great da- hey, stop it, get off me!

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[caption id="attachment_106" align="alignright" width="130"] This is our friend, Moe_Ron.[/caption] A loud metallic squink is heard. mattcarpenterart.com's "friend," Moe_Ron are seen standing over the guy who was writing this post. Who's writing THIS part, then? I don't know, lady, quit asking so many questions!

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Moe: Ron, go easy on him, he just works here! Ron: He's dead, Moe. I did what I had to do. Moe: Geeze, Ron, you didn't have to kill the poor guy. We just wanted to break in here and liven the place up a bit. Why is this place so dead? There were no posts in over 6 months and then the comeback post is just so dang BORING! What do you think happened? Ron: I've been telling you this for a long time, Moe: This place sucks. It's only a matter of time before it just kind of burns out, just like the artist. We broke in here to help, but I'm not sure that's possible. Hand me that notepad on the desk. Moe: Did you see the new art? There's some fresh, wonderful stuff, Ron! Look: [caption id="attachment_1189" align="aligncenter" width="261"] Field of Things[/caption] Ron: Jeee-SSUSSS CHRIST, Moe! Where's our backpack with the drugs? It's time to get TANGLED and TRIP THE FUGGOUT! Moe: Ron, you don't need drugs to appreciate cool artwork. This is beautiful on its own. No reason to get tangled. Ron: Man I keep forgetting this guy makes such cool shit! I wonder how he does it. Do you think he uses a paintbrush? This one's probably ballpoint pen! Maybe it's chalk? Moe: I think it's digital art, Ron. Ron: Oh, like MS Paint? What a fucking NERD, am I right?! Moe: Look at this one: [caption id="attachment_1176" align="aligncenter" width="2000"] "Sprak"[/caption] Ron: That makes me feel nice. Why do I keep forgetting that there's such awesome artwork here? Moe: Because you tend to be very negative about things in general. You're the mean one. It's kind of your thing. You act all pissed off and then eventually you come around. Ron: I don't have a "thing," Moe. Moe: What about that thing on your armpit? The green thing? Ron: God dammit, Moe! [caption id="attachment_1175" align="aligncenter" width="2000"] "Spinning"[/caption] Moe: There's so much art here! [caption id="attachment_1219" align="aligncenter" width="576"] SquareSpace[/caption] Ron: Yeah it's pretty rad, I won't lie. Moe: Do you usually lie, Ron? What are you hiding? Ron: Moe, don't start. Oh hey, look at this one! [caption id="attachment_1196" align="aligncenter" width="576"] Oldie[/caption] Moe: Neat! Ron: OK so how do we spice this post up? That was our goal, remember? Moe: I think we might have done that already. We're probably good, Ron. Ron: Fuck that, let's spray paint all over the walls and break some windows and stuff! IT'S A RIOT, BITCH!! Moe: Calm down, Ron. Our work here is done. There's already a dead guy on the floor. I think that's probably good enough. Ron: Oh yeah. I killed somebody, lol. Let's get outta here.

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Moe_Ron leaves, apparently having committed murder and accomplished a goal of some sort. A mysterious pair of hands finishes the post, hinting at everybody to keep seeking out and enjoying art and to always start finishing. [caption id="" align="alignleft" width="481"] Keep groovin, foolios![/caption]

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-- EARTH 3.5, REVISION 2B An update to the "theme" of this website required me to whip up some large images to be "headers." Coming to mattcarpenterart.com will now randomly display one of 10 images:                   So.. Those are the new headers. Thanks for quickly scrolling through them. You'd better get used to them, because you come to this website all the time. OK. See ya. Have a nice roast!